I have to preface that our infertility story isn’t something that be put into a small blurb or summary. The pain of infertility is more than words can probably ever express… but I’m going to try my best. By breaking up our story into 3 parts, you’ll be able to get a glimpse into each stage of our journey over the years. My hope is that by sharing our journey and helpful advice, tips and encouragement, that other’s struggling won’t feel alone and can seek out the help they need to move forward in their journey…
We started dating when we were only teenagers back in 2005— dreaming together what our wedding day would be like, how we would build a life together and of course, what our future babies would be like. The value of family and wanting to create one of our own one day, has always been a common value we treasured about one another. By being intentional in our prayers over parenthood, we believed that our desire was a calling the Lord had placed on our hearts not merely as a “lifestyle”, but a ministry to further bring glory.
Our fertility journey began unknowingly in 2012 after we said, “I Do”. We decided to not use birth control, as we would have joyfully welcomed the gift of a child in the sanctity of our marriage, if the Lord saw fit, while we intended to use the first couple years to enjoy being husband & wife. Assuming we were just “really good” at avoiding getting pregnant without contraceptives, we decided that we were ready to start growing our family in January 2015. After 6 months, we knew deep down something wasn’t right. We decided to seek help through my OBGYN, who after running blood tests & ultrasounds, encouraged us to “keep trying” for another 6 months and was optimistic that would do the trick.
Fast forward 6 months… nothing.
A few more blood tests, a few more ultrasounds, a very painful HSG procedure… nothing. Convinced that it could possibly be my husband’s contribution, he tested and was found to be above average in all areas. Back to the drawing board. Our OBGYN was beside herself and was honest, that she didn’t know what else she could do to help. I left the doctor’s office in tears, as it sunk in— something was wrong. We felt disappointed and lost, but we continued to pray for the Lord’s direction & to answer our prayers to conceive.
Coming to terms with the fact that we were struggling with infertility was overwhelming, frustrating and devastating. We continued to do our best to keep a smile on our faces and even though we are happy for them, it was tough to watch our closest friends and those around us get pregnant with ease. Each month we clung to hope & prayed with white knuckles that THIS would be the month. Walking past baby aisles and periodically making small purchases for the moment I could tell my husband and our family that, “We’re pregnant!”
There were so many times I would visit friends in the hospital just after they had a baby. Filled with joy while holding their precious miracle in the hospital room, I would sit in my car for an hour afterwards sobbing and praying for God to take away my desire to be a mother, if it wasn’t His will for my life.
We never thought we would struggle to grow our family, and nevertheless sought help from a Fertility Specialist after the encouragement of friends through church who had struggled with the same trial. We did our research and made an appointment with one of the top Fertility Specialists on the west coast, with one of the highest success rates for couples struggling with infertility in the nation.
TO BE CONTINUED…